When you pictured what your 2020 would look like, chances are it wasn’t quite like this. A lot has changed. It feels like your world has been turned upside down since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. And as you navigate these uncertain times, you might also be helping your child do the same. Maybe your work routine is entirely different (or non-existent), your travel plans have all been canceled, or you haven’t seen loved ones in months. For children, times of uncertainty might look and feel a lot different than they do for adults. Summers usually spent at camp, or traveling to see family, or just playing with all of the kids in the neighborhood from sunup to sundown might have been the norm up until now. Now, your children might be tired of staying at home and frustrated by a lack of socialization with people outside of your family. Maybe they’re starting to act out and tantrums are a daily (or hourly!) occasion in your house. Older kids might show their frustration or confusion in different ways. They may act out in their own ways by challenging the rules or further isolating themselves. How to navigate uncertainty with children of all agesStress levels are higher than ever for people across the world. These levels are only increased by not knowing how to help our children cultivate their minds around these stressful times. While there’s no one right answer, there are certain guidelines and tips for guiding your children through uncertainty. There are different ways to help children understand these changes depending on their age. Naturally, the way you help a four-year-old process these difficult times will be different than it is for a college-age child. Let’s discuss how to manage this uncertainty and have important conversations with children of all ages. Pre-k childrenYounger children are more likely to have tantrums, be clingy and whiny, or even revert to old behaviors like thumb-sucking or bed-wetting during times of uncertainty. Heads up! There’s a good chance your child is getting a lot of their cues from you. If they see you being stressed or panicked, they’ll feel the same, even if they show it in different ways. Do your best to model calm, peaceful behavior around your children. This helps set an example and demonstrates to your children that everything is okay. If your child has already started showing these signs of stress or anxiety, it’s not likely to change overnight. Be patient with your child and look for opportunities to discuss their feelings in language they can process. Focus on having patience with your child when they act out. If you respond in an equally elevated manner, their response will usually become even bigger. Grade school childrenOnce your children are a little bit older and they’re more capable of expressing their feelings with words, they might come to you with questions or concerns about the COVID-19 pandemic or other issues. It’s important to capitalize on this opportunity to discuss their fears with them. When you promote a safe space for sharing, they’re more likely to keep sharing. Not to mention, providing this space goes a long way in offering them a sense of security. Some children aren’t as likely to open up about their feelings. A great way to encourage them to share is offering them opportunities to draw or write. You could provide them with the tools to do so and give them total control of what they create. Or if you’re hoping to start a conversation, offer them specific prompts. You might ask your child to write down five things that scare them and five things they love. Focus on the good and bad when you discuss this with your child afterward and remind them it’s okay to feel however they feel. What’s most important is they’re willing to discuss their feelings. High school studentsStressors and fears tend to manifest differently in teenagers than they do in younger children. Often, you’ll notice teenagers demonstrate a lack of motivation or energy during times of uncertainty. You may also notice them displaying openly anxious behavior like nail-biting. Keep in mind how much information a teenager is exposed to on a daily basis. If your teen is like most, they spend a lot of time on social media and it’s hard to keep an eye on everything they’re exposed to. They could be reading misinformation that worsens their fears and anxiety without you knowing it. To make sure your child is appropriately informed, make sure to have regular discussions about the facts. Trust reliable news sources for your information and share it with your children. Foster open communication on scary topics and encourage them to ask you any questions they have. You might be tempted to hide a lot of this information from children, but keep in mind they’re likely already seeing it each time they log on to social media or use the Internet. When you facilitate these conversations, you can take some control of what your teenager hears and at the very least, know they’re getting accurate information. If you notice your teenager seems more anxious or irritable when they have more screen time, consider setting time limits. To keep them busy, look for other fun activities they can do that don’t involve their smartphones. College-age childrenDuring a time when big strides are being made toward their future career and goals, it’s common for college students to feel disillusioned and worried about what their future looks like. Add a global pandemic on top of that, and these fears and anxieties are greater than ever. No matter how old they get, your children are still children. If you have college-age children, it’s still important to consider how you can help them guide them through these uncertain times. When your college-age child lives at home, you might have an easier time checking in on them and finding out how they’re feeling. If your child lives away from home, it’s just as important to have regular discussions (even if they’re over the phone) so you can check in on them. During these conversations, focus on treating your children with respect and offering them room to express their emotions. In many cases, that means letting them voice their concerns rather than immediately assuring them their worst fear will never happen. As parents, it’s often our instinct to jump to offering solutions for our children’s concerns. For younger children, solutions may provide immediate comfort and reassurance. With college-age children, it’s just as important to listen without judgement and provide a safe space to vent. Sometimes, asking questions is a lot more effective than offering advice. Concerns about returning to schoolParents and children alike are feeling uncertainty about a return to school. The news seems to change by the day, and this only adds to the uncertainty. It’s difficult for parents to make decisions about work and other plans when they don’t know if their children will be learning at school or from home. At the same time, children also feel anxious about the questions surrounding a return to school this fall. If they know they will be attending school in-person, they could have health-related fears. Or if they know they WON’T be attending school in person, maybe they’re feeling frustrated and upset about not seeing their friends each day. No matter how old your child is, be sure to talk to them about their specific concerns or anxieties surrounding school. Do they want to discuss the safety protocols their school has in place? Are they curious about how remote learning will work? Whatever it is, make sure they know they can come to you to talk, vent, or ask questions. What about you?One of the greatest stressors for children can be seeing their parents struggle. This isn’t to say you need to hide your emotions entirely from your child. In fact, it’s important for them to see you process and maneuver through tough times. That being said, they also need you to model resilience. It’s worth noting that receiving professional emotional support is now more accessible than ever. There are several online or mobile therapy programs (including many free options) tailored to specific age groups. Take a look at this comprehensive list of the best online therapy programs for 2020 to find an option that works for you. Whether your child is four or 14, they look to you as an example.Are you doing everything you can to take care of yourself? Do you talk about your feelings openly the way you expect them to? Managing your own stress levels during times of great uncertainty can’t be overlooked. Think of it like putting your own oxygen mask on before helping others. To help your children navigate uncertainty, you need to make sure you’re doing the same for yourself.Here’s a great place to start: we share nine tips for anxiety relief in this post. We’d love to hear from you. How are you managing all of this unpredictability for yourself and your children? Comment down below and let’s talk. from https://neuvanalife.com/how-to-navigate-times-of-uncertainty-with-kids/
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